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When trying to keep the relationship afloat, it is quite normal to abandon yourself in a toxic love. Which is actually when we start to fall out of love with ourselves. When this happens, we hand over our whole self-worth to another person, and our mood and happiness becomes entirely dependent on them before we know it.
But what happens when that relationship ends?
You’ll be okay. Actually, more than okay.
We seem to don’t know how to live, let alone how to be happy without them. But the truth is you’re going to be more than okay! There is so much light and happiness ahead if you chose to fall back in love with yourself and just let go.
Stop fighting the old.
You try to understand why the person did what they did. But why they did it is not important. What’s important is the right now. Stop wasting your energy trying to fight the old battle you will never win. Use it instead build the new life you actually want to live.
Understand your worth.
Never abandon yourself in the effort to keep someone or something. The first step to falling back in love with yourself is understanding what you are and are not willing to compromise on.
Don’t entertain your old pain.
Sometimes love isn’t the kind that results in the fusing of two lives into one. Instead, it can give you a new life. Just understand that some love is meant to change your life rather than give you someone to grow old with.
Learn to let go.
You cannot move forward with your life with one foot on the brakes. Sometimes our pain is the only thing still attaching us to our ex and sometimes we’re not ready for that. But the energy it takes to hang on to the past is actually holding you back from living your life fully.
Someone’s past, their demons, whatever the reason is, some people are not ready for love and happiness and will push you away. Forgive them. You are only responsible for yourself.
Don’t regret anything.
Mistakes are inevitable, but they are very important as long as you learn from them. They teach you who you want to be.
The pain and frustration shaped you.
You cried, you laughed, you were alive. All that pain produced understandings that have created a new level of living. You now have a chance to be happier than you have ever been before.
Learn to love your edges.
Since you were able to love your ex’s edges, all their roughness, why can’t you do that for yourself? Love those gory bits, grow into your own wrongness.
There is a more extraordinary love out there that you would never know if it didn’t end it with the last one. But the extraordinary has to start with you! Fall back in love with yourself and let everybody else come searching for you.